1. Earlier this month, Dewhurst’s relative got in trouble.
2. Police placed his relative in jail
3. David Dewhurst to the rescue!
4. Dewhurst makes a call to the police and says, “Sergeant, you don’t know me, but every year I’m the No. 1 pick of all the law enforcement agencies in Texas”
5. Police were all like, “uhh what?”
6. The people of Texas were like, “whaaaaaat?!”
7. We need a Lieutenant Governor without all the drama